Can believers and non-believers be happy together?

[Jennifer]

How would you handle it if one parent has strong belief in God but the other one is leaning towards atheism?

[Kittykat]

Kim and Rob are the perfect parents to ask this question lol. Kim Rob

[charity]

The church my family is part of advises against it.


2 Corinthians 6:14  Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Kim and Rob seem to have a good marriage but I don't think most people can make it work.

[Tatiana]

My family is friends with another family where the mum is Catholic and dad is Jewish, or it could be the other way around but they make it work.  I think you have to discuss and agree on what you want for your kids.  They celebrate Christmas and Hannukah 

[Vince]

If you want an absolute bonkers example, Ms. Vince had a colleague who is a pastor of a Disciples of Christ church. Her husband is Buddhist. They have a lovely family; it seems the biggest problem they have is other people butting into their business - one of the church members once told the pastor's young daughter that her father was going to hell.

[Kim]

I was raised a Catholic and ended up a "bad Catholic" or more accurately I believe in God but I don't believe in religion.  
Rob was raised, oh my goodness, they were church hoppers, seeking whatever church told them what they wanted to hear so he was Methodist, Episcopalian, Baptist and today he's an agnostic.  He believes there is a higher consciousness but won't go so far as to call it "God" and certainly not "Father". 
He's also a democrat and I'm a republican.   He's very progressive and I'm more conservative.  Somehow we make it work.  You don't let anything come between you and loving your partner.  Mutual respect and a sense of humor will overcome most differences.
We decided from the beginning that we will allow our kids to choose what they will or won't believe and we will help them explore whatever it is they want to explore (reasonably).  Scarlette has a love/hate relationship with being Catholic but she's searching.  As far as I know she does believe.  Rosie is definitely on a search to discover God.  She probably fits in best with Baptists which makes sense to me because her biological family are predominantly Baptist.  Ruby is Rob's mini-me.  Sometimes I think he had that child without my help. 
So my short answer is yes.  Of course, I had to give my longer answer before getting to my short answer. 

[Rosie]

I don't know about that mom. I don't think I'm more Baptist. Mali is that but I think I maybe am more just believing but not no way that a church says I got to believe. You know my grandmas Baptist church says drinking is a sin and so is being gay and I don't believe like that. I don't know but mostly I don't fit in no place neatlike. 

[JenniferS]

I've never been in that situation but I think Kim's words are what I'd expect should happen. As long as there is a mutual respect between both parents then I don't think it would or should be a problem.

[Libby]

What to do about the children is going to be the biggest issue but if the non-believer will support them learning what the believer believes, I don't think it's a deal breaker.

[Vince]

Dec 28, 2022 21:14:55 GMT -5 Libby said:

What to do about the children is going to be the biggest issue but if the non-believer will support them learning what the believer believes, I don't think it's a deal breaker.

What about the believer supporting them learning what the non-believer believes? Fair is fair, after all.

Who gets to decide what is taught to the children, or should the children be allowed to decide for themselves?

[Kim]

That depends on how important it is to the believer to have their child baptized.  

[Vince]

Seems like something they would need to work out before having kids, especially if the non-believer was hostile toward religion.

[Deleted]

I think it depends on how seriously or literally the believer takes their faith. I’m a non-believer who dated a devout evangelical Christian woman for a while. Things got pretty awkward after she told me I was going to hell unless I converted.

[Kim]

Dec 28, 2022 23:14:44 GMT -5 Vince said:

Seems like something they would need to work out before having kids, especially if the non-believer was hostile toward religion.

I'm not sure someone who is devout in their faith would ever consider marrying someone who is hostile toward religion.  If you have a lukewarm faith, possible but not someone who's devout.  I think Rob and I are more typical of the believer and non-believer union.  I believe but I'm relaxed about that belief and Rob isn't hostile towards religion, I know I get the occasional eye roll when my back is turned but no real hostility.  But working out the how you're going to raise your kids before you marry and have them is something that needs to be done.

[Kim]

Dec 28, 2022 23:59:17 GMT -5 @jamesgarcia said:

I think it depends on how seriously or literally the believer takes their faith. I’m a non-believer who dated a devout evangelical Christian woman for a while. Things got pretty awkward after she told me I was going to hell unless I converted.

Why would someone date someone they believe is going to Hell?  She wasn't dating you, she was trying to convert you.   I believe and I was raised in the Catholic church so a lot of my way of believing was formed by that Catholic church and I still wouldn't survive with an evangelical Christian.  I think I'd rather that one way ticket to Hell.  Thank-you-very-much. 
My first husband who was my ticket to hell on earth, is a "devout" Catholic but my agnostic second husband acts more Christian than Mr. Catholic ever acted.