Whose religion?

[Rosie]

Do you think it is a good idea to force your kids to believe in God how you do?
Malachi and I talked on the phone last night and he told me he doesn't get a choice in what church he has got to go to but he likes it how my mom and dad let us believe how we want to.  I used to get a little not bad but maybe irritated or something with my parent cause they didn't give us a religion to follow but I don't feel like that now.  I don't know if I was a mom if I would do it how my mom and dad does it or how Malachi's mom and dad does it.
Do you think parents should give there kids there religion?

[Kim]

Being the parent who didn't give you any religion, there's a reason for that.  Your dad and I have very different belief systems.  I respect his right to believe how he does and he respects my right to believe how I do.  How do we not extend that respect to you kids?  We will do everything we can to support whatever path you choose (within reason) but we aren't going to tell you to believe one way when we can't even agree on how to believe.  

[Kittykat]

I agree with your mom,

However, some parents feel their religion is the only right religion and force their kids to attend.

[quinn]

My ex takes the kids to church, no choice offered.  

[Kim]

It was the same way for me when I was growing up.  You marry an agnostic and everything changes. 

[laurensobuf]

My husband and I are both Catholic, which about 80% of the people in these parts are, at least nominally. When we had kids, we never considered raising them anything else. It was not a conscious decision, just something that was assumed and expected. They did make their First Communion and their confirmation, which was in 8th grade for both. Once they had done that, I didn't compel them to go to mass or take religious ed classes. Confirmation signifies a certain level of maturity in the church, so I figured at that point it was really their choice.

EDIT: I  should note that I have not been a Sunday mass regular in a good few years, myself. I practically had to drag my hub there when the kids were younger and we were going, but he has been more than happy to sleep in. I still go to mass with my mom once a week during the week, but that is more for her and for me to be with her than anything religious.

It is funny, she is still a regular churchgoer. I remember my grandparents. They were in church three times - baptism, wedding and their funeral. I think my nonne is still haunting us for having her funeral in church.

[Vince]

Former Catholic, married a Methodist. When the boy was little we tried to be active in a Methodist church but in-town churches are often smallish congregations that struggle with a lot of things, not to mention buildings that were perfect to support a good-size congregation from the 1920s-1950s but are now money pits due to 70 years of declining attendance and deferred maintenance. Church became more of a stress than a refuge and when he started school and struggled with Kindergarten homework we decided we really needed a day off for all of us to recharge. So we stopped. Other things have filled the void to provide community for us. I was already trending toward agnostic/apathetic/atheist so I am definitely in the "none" camp when it comes to religion. Ms. Vince I would say is a theist (she might barely qualify as a Christian in her beliefs, having what they call in ministry-speak a "very low Christology").

So we don't go and we don't make anyone go. We have been on a handful of occasions in the past 8 years, mostly Christmas and funerals. My adoptive dad used to ask but doesn't anymore (much to the relief of my adopted older brother since he and his family are mostly "C&E" (Christmas and Easter) people. Ms. Vince's mother (a lifelong Methodist) is sad that we don't go but all she can do these days is attend via live stream due to her health and mobility issues.

Having said that, I think it's important not to be ignorant of Judeo-Christian culture (and certainly the culture of other religions, but obviously it's Judeo-Christian history, stories, and traditions that drive a lot of things in America and Western Europe) and I have a lot of built-up knowledge from 12+ years of Catholic school and taking the faith journey from Catholic to Baptist to Methodist to Universalist to whatever I am now. The kids sometimes have questions about beliefs of their friends or friends' families and I try to give non-judgmental and neutral answers.

[Tatiana]

My mum makes us go to Mass with her every Sunday unless we are dying and then she wants us to go so we can get the anointing of the sick. She sits right up there in front and sings like nobody is listening. She was in the choir before the coronavirus closed it all down.

[Vince]

Aug 17, 2021 18:39:38 GMT -5 Tatiana said:

My mum makes us go to Mass with her every Sunday unless we are dying and then she wants us to go so we can get the anointing of the sick. She sits right up there in front and sings like nobody is listening. She was in the choir before the coronavirus closed it all down.

Sounds like she's read John Wesley (the founder of Methodism) and his directions for singing, especially #4:

1. Learn these Tunes before you learn any others; afterwards learn as many as you please.
   
   
2. Sing them exactly as they are printed here, without altering or mending them at all; and if you have learned to sing them otherwise, unlearn it as soon as you can.
   
   
3. Sing All. See that you join with the congregation as frequently as you can. Let not a slight degree of weakness or weariness hinder you. If it is a cross to you, take it up and you will find a blessing.
   
   
4. Sing lustily and with good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength. Be no more afraid of your voice now, nor more ashamed of its being heard, than when you sung the songs of Satan.
   
   
5. Sing modestly. Do not bawl, so as to be heard above or distinct from the rest of the congregation, that you may not destroy the harmony; but strive to unite your voices together, so as to make one clear melodious sound.
   
   
6. Sing in Time: whatever time is sung, be sure to keep with it. Do not run before nor stay behind it; but attend closely to the leading voices, and move therewith as exactly as you can. And take care you sing not too slow. This drawling way naturally steals on all who are lazy; and it is high time to drive it out from among us, and sing all our tunes just as quick as we did at first.
   
   
7. Above all sing spiritually. Have an eye to God in every word you sing. Aim at pleasing him more than yourself, or any other creature. In order to this attend strictly to the sense of what you sing, and see that your Heart is not carried away with the sound, but offered to God continually; so shall your singing be such as the Lord will approve of here, and reward when he cometh in the clouds of heaven.
   

[Rosie]

I wish my mom and dad would come to church but when I say that my dad says the roof will cave in and stuff.  I know I got to respect how he thinks and believes but it still would be nice to be able to go to church and for my family to take up one of them whole bench seats.  When I was little in Georgia I know my grandma sometimes took me to church but I don't really remember much about that. 

[Rosie]

I used to worry that my dad wasn't going to go to Heaven when he dies but you know I figured out he is baptized and if God wants so bad for him to believe he could give him faith only he don't.  My dad is very good to people and he don't hurt nobody so if Heaven is not made up of him and people like him then I don't think there can be a heaven and a hell cause hell can't be a bad place if it has people like my dad in it.  So I think my dad will still go to Heaven. You know when I almost died he let me get baptized without me even asking but it was my moms idea but my dad could of said no. I was scared before of dying without getting baptized you know so he respected how I felt even if I was on that breathing machine thing and asleep you know.  He still knew and he respected that.  That is not how a bad soul person would act.  That is more like how Jesus would act.

[leslie]

There are many religions on this planet, but they all believe in a supreme being called God, or Messiah. Studying the various faiths reveals an interesting fact. Without deviation, they all describe similar miracles and the existence of an after life. Some non believers, will try and denounce religion as a crutch or fantasy. They argue about the bible's contents, and the unrealistic miracles. What we have to remember, is that the bible had many authors over two thousand years. At the time of writing, most of the earth's population were illiterate, therefore, the stories were picturesque language and exaggerated.
In the 1960s, Oxford University undergraduates carried out an experiment. They chose twelve Russian scientists, all of whom, had never read the bible, to describe how the world began. All twelve gave descriptions that perfectly matched the biblical definition.

We humans, are far too intelligent to die into oblivion, there is some form of after life. As the writer Lewis Carroll stated, death is the last great adventure. God (who may be male or female), must, by his very definition, be a caring, omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent personage. Such a God would never deny access to his kingdom, regardless of belief in him/her. The reason God has always been portrayed as male, is because the male of the species has always been viewed as dominant. In more recent times, that theory has become a myth, as females became more educated and achieved high office.

My favourite hymn is `Dear Lord and Father of Mankind'. It was written by an American poet called John Greenleaf Whittier. He was an Indian scout for the US cavalry. One night, he was watching the Indian braves dancing around a camp fire, drinking fire water (spirits). He was so moved by their erratic behaviour, that he penned, `Dear Lord and Father of mankind, forgive their foolish ways'. Religious poems, hymns and stories, develop in the most strange ways. We all have our own religions and God, it keeps us sane.
Goodnight from England, may your God go with you.